The orphanage

This is a picture in front of the orphanage with the directors and nannies. We were not allowed to take pictures inside. I think today was a really confusing day for Lucy. Having her return to this building only a few days after we had gotten her was hard as a mother. I kept looking at her face and she didn't smile once. Which once you meet her you will know how odd that is. All in all it was an experience I feel blessed to have had. It was much more difficult to witness the all of the children and lack of nannies than I had prepared myself for. From what we have been told this orphanage is considered a rich one in comparison to many. This really isn't saying too much. I can not imagine what the less fortunate orphanages are like. We walked from room to room witnessing what little they have to offer the children. I was trying to hold it together for Lucy's sake because you could tell she was scared enough. It was when I turned the corner and saw the room of children with special needs that I lost it. I spent a few minutes sobbing in the corner. There really is no words to describe everything we witnessed. I've seen many documentaries thinking it would give me perspective and there is nothing but being in the presence of these children that will provide you with that. I try not to think too much about what Lucy's first 10 months were like. We really do give thanks so many times a day I begin to loose count. Everyone who lives here keeps saying how lucky she is. It really is us who are the lucky ones.